India Part 3

Varanasi... Our last stop in India as we make our way to Nepal. As I look forward to the next few days, I am expecting we will be victims of the worst haggling of our trip, the most confusion, the most frustration. We have been in Varanasi for a day and a half at this point and this has been our experience. We have been told prices that are four or more times expensive than we have found out they should be, even for tourists, told a price that changes 4 times during the same conversation lasting 10 minutes. It seems this town is full of what I consider liars..I don't want to feel this way, but unfortunately, the experiences I have had support this conclusion from my perspective. I am disappointed to think that our last experiences in India may be the most negative of our trip. I wish we could end this trip on a high note. Before coming to Varanasi, we arranged a driver to meet us upon our arrival on an overnight train (an adventure in itself!) We met  him immediately and were relieved! It was  along night and it is nice to find him so easily. But as we get to the car, we see that there will be TWO men with us... None of us are  sure why, but asking only results with the response that this is what we paid for, and it seems the driver doesn't know english, so we concede. The "extra man" arranges to take us to a Buddhist temple and tells us it is a big monument and he is getting us a guide who is a monk to show us the grounds. We know by now that this is probably an exaggeration, and probably nothing like the magical experience most of you are imagining.. Or the experience I imagine... A stone building with gardens and beautiful marigold or burgundy colored robes fluttering in the wind, chanting and incense... No... At this point we know that this is probably a monk who lives nearby, maybe even paid to take care of the grounds, probably hard to understand, etc. but what we end up with is something else entirely...an older man in a baseball cap, a dirty white shirt, barely has teeth and they look like he has been chewing beetlenut (a juicy red tobacco that rots and stains the teeth) since he was six. He seems nice enough, so we continue on the tour, thinking we don't want to judge the book by its cover... However, as we roam, he gives us little to no information about the grounds, tries and very vaguely describes Buddhism, and we find out after some questioning on our side that he is a Hindu farmer. "Seriously!" we think!? "Of course, he's a Hindu farmer!" we discharge him with a payment of 60 rupees (which he is thrilled about) and continue on our walk around the grounds, sure now that our driver is a big fat liar and a scammer. I felt instinctively and immediately that he was up to no good, but hard to be sure in Incredible India...Oh well! Such has been our experience on a more minor level of the rest of India. We were not too, too surprised at this at this point. We had spent the morning being hassled and talked at by this "extra" man and it continued as we arrived back at our car. It continued in fact for every minute that we were with him till we finally lost it.  He sat down at our dinner table with a glass of water and started to continue his haggling. We had to yell at him to leave... "Leave us alone- at least to eat!" We tried everything we could think of prior to this outburst, but he would not be stopped. Finally, he got the point and now his anger was tangible in return. He tried now to drop us, take the money we had paid for the day long service and told his friend to take us home after the meal. He seemed to only care for himself, only realize that he hadn't gotten what he wanted, no concern for the 6 hours of frustration he had caused us, disregarding attitude he had tried to walk all over us with. We accepted whatever it meant to get him out of our hair. We didn't care what we paid for at this point, as long as this man never spoke to us again... Later, as we get to the car to leave, the driver speaks to us in perfect English! We ask him if the other man was his boss? Or ? He tells us he is a business partner who had been contacted to arrange our car. We ended us having to meet up with the extra man one more time, during which he still tried to sell us things, but not with such aggression as our first few encounters. He could drive as well, so we still don't know why two people showed up to do a one person job. It's very disappointing to feel that the only way to handle the hagglers is to become somewhat aggressive. That is not how we want to act or consider ourselves... How do you act how you want to act and live a life of kindness and integrity when people act as this man has acted? I guess you have no choice but to fight sometimes.  ------------------------- I am reading this on our fourth day in Varanasi as I decide to stay inside with Monica who has been very very sick for a day or two now. I am sick as well, with a cold of sorts.. I believe now that it is from the pollution in Varanasi, the holy city, the city of almost non-stop cremations on the Ganges River, the city of fecal matter lining the river walls and the winding streets within the old city, the city of the bodies of the following five types of deaths being thrown into the river (anyone under the age of ten, lepers, people who have been bitten by a snake, maybe a cobra, as the cobra is holy, a specific type of holy men and pregnant women) as well as those of every person for a few minutes in preparation for cremation, the city of trash lining just about every street, every place there is to walk, intense air pollution, dry and putrid at times...the air so sick vomit rises in my throat... I believe now that this is the city of the sick, the city of intense immune systems, or lifelong ailments, who knows! But this is not what I would consider a holy city, never how you'd think a people would care for a holy city. "What has happened here?" "why is it so very bad?" Anne has also felt light headed and nauseous after being out of doors for more than a few hours in the city here. This is astounding to me.  India leaves me confused, unsure how to make sense of the differences from western culture, how to make sense of the nonsense. Looking out at it from my traveled, but western perspective, it really does seem nonsensical at this time. "Maybe in a year!" I say to Anne. "Maybe  in a year I will have some perspective on this experience." To return and look back on the week prior to Varanasi, it seems that I am seeing my experiences in Pushkar, another holy city, then Jaipur and Agra in a brighter light. I really enjoyed Pushkar. It is a stop on a major train line and so it seems pretty tourist friendly. We eat food that does not make us sick, explore the city on our own while shopping, laugh while thinking this is where everyone that goes to Burning Man buys their outfits, read a funny sign about the color festival that goes on here, and even sneak some time by the pool as it is in a private garden.  As for the color festival, and the flyer we saw, I remember laughing as it stated: "do not come outside if you do not like colors!" Upon further inspection, I have learned that "colors" means lead based water colored powder which many of the local children mix with water from the sewers, or stagnant water or mud. The colors are thrown at you, all over a person, and you are welcome to return the throw. Colors are available all over the city and while this city is a hub for the festival, it is celebrated in many cities all over India. We have also heard that it is not fun, that it is gross in many ways because of the dirt and sewage and lead based paint and also because people are very aggressive and your clothes can be torn off or you can be mishandled. Go out at your own risk, and look it up if you need more info. I still have much to research about this and many other experiences in India. I bought a few little canisters of color which I will keep sealed as a momento.  While in Pushkar, we visited a Sikh temple. Outside we had to remove our shoes and cover our heads. I asked the man outside to promise me to watch my hiking boots, made him promise they would still be there when I returned. I laugh now recounting it, how intent i was on receiving his promise..The temple was cool, all white marble, nice views, tall towers and smallish. I want to know more about this religion, another thing to learn. We did learn that more freedom of religion was allowed under Akhbar the Great (sp?) who seems to have been very open minded and it was during his rule that the Sikh religion was started. As we three exited the temple, we met a man with a large knife. We are told it is one of the five elements required to be worn by the men at the temple.  When we pointed to it, he quickly un holstered it and pointed it at Monica. It seemed obvious to me at the time that he would not harm her, but it was a funny sight, something unheard of in my world in the U.S. so I caught it on film. The man seemed pleased. :))) In Jaipur, the Amber fort was quite a sight rising on the hill. Along with the other forts, the scene was pretty spectacular as we arrived in the city. I took a day at this time for myself, I was not feeling well to my stomach and I also needed a bit of time for reflection, a yoga session in my room and reading. It felt nice to be far away from the daunting realities at home, and also nice to let my thoughts settle and start to come to terms with the changes in my life. It was at this point that I started to feel more acceptance, more peacefulness, more letting go. I am thankful that I have had this time, this experience, and these friends. Aside from the Amber fort, we visited a monkey temple, where a monkey god is worshipped. People buy snacks for the monkeys who reside in this region, I fed a peanut to a monkey although I was a little scared and watched as the local people swam in a communal bathing pool alongside the massive amounts of monkeys. This is another thing which has struck me during my travels in India- the way the people and animals co-habitate. Large and small monkeys, cows, street dogs, peacocks, goats, etc. all moving around seemingly on their own volition in close company with the people. In the U.S, we have places and times for these things, sectored off areas for the keeping and watching of animals, a stark contrast to this area where the monkeys run around the children as they jump off the high temple steps into a pool.  After Jaipur comes Agra, a comfortable stop for us, where the same frustrations with communication, discrimination and haggling persist, but also, we stayed in a nice hotel with good food, got to see sights and use the internet  before catching our night train. The highlight here is the Taj Mahal. The view at sunrise was not quite what I expected as the gates do not open until AFTER sunrise and our tickets were 750 rupees in comparison to the local cost of about 50. Also, we had to wait in the "foreign women" line to get in which was extra slow and blatantly discriminatory. This was another time when I was shocked and thankful that this is at least something that is unlawful in the U.S. Can you imagine a line at our churches that only allows foreign women in last and for a large charge? I think to myself, it's the nature of the beast, (there are probably millions of tourists who come here every year and the culture in general seems to put men above women) and step in line to pay and wait my turn. An unexpected joy occurs as I stand and wait. A middle aged Indian woman asks me: "what is your sweet name?" I respond and she asks Anne and Monica in turn. She is gentle, seems very kind and notices my ticket price without my saying anything, points it out to the other women and seems surprised. Her presence is peaceful and gentle. It is a gift at this time to have met her, a testament to my experience of Indian women thus far. The Taj Mahal is beautiful and well kept. I had a great time here in the early morning breeze wandering around the grounds....